End of the “Cool Girl”

While not a new buzz word, “cool girl” seems to be gaining more traction rather than performing as a passing trend. It blends with the identity of “that” girl and “it” girl. These girls do this, buy this, eat this… blah blah blah. The more videos I see, the more it became blatantly obvious that Miss Cool Girl is another capitalistic ploy. Frankly I am tired of the constant promotion to over consume and the ideation that to “be cool” we must constantly change our interests and compete for a spot in purposefully exclusive practices.

“Cool girl” posts take the tone of nonchalance to convey what are really just opinions and forms of self-expression as an objective truth- I mean “cool” in itself is subjective to your peers and the community you are a part of. Research conducted by Psychology today found that the number one perceived trait of someone labeled as cool is questioning convention.

“If you’re someone who takes risks based on what you think is right, then you might be on the path to coolness…

Cool people tend to challenge the status quo and embrace new ideas. That is why, researchers argue, coolness thrives in information societies. This is because such societies tend to value ideas, culture, and social innovation.

Our data reveal that cool people are autonomous, adventurous, open, and hedonistic, all of which make a person more likely to seek new and different experiences.”

-Mark Travers, Ph.D.

If you want to be cool, why follow the many micro trends thrown into your face? Because you are conditioned to do so. You are consistently told to follow this path to be accepted by others and even yourself.

The “cool girl” trend reduces women to concepts we consume, selling identities through the guise of exclusivity and social acceptance. As a collective we are becoming more individualistic while transforming into carbon copies of one another. It is all so confusing sometimes to be a girl.

The cool girl is a promotion of a perceived ideal form. In her video essay “stop trying to be a cool girl,” Mickey Gavin points out the red flags with this persona, such as many cool girl influencers being rich, thin, and white. There is a lack of diversity here that narrows in on the beauty standards women have been trying so hard to move away from. Women may experience low self-esteem or identity erosion, and it could be argued that these features and concepts play into male fantasies as well (especially the act of “cool girls don’t care “). This identity does not actually benefit women like advertised.

Exclusivity really comes into play here; cool girls who are rich don’t have to work a 9-5. They can spend time working with a personal trainer and nutritionist, afford premium skin and hair treatments, and wear the high-end clothes. Gavin states we compare ourselves to these women and want to recreate their style or life- that’s what these women want though. Influencers or celebrities frequently present themselves as relatable because it sells but really, they move with a silent luxury that is entirely unattainable. We are caught in a financial loop, spending on the next product to help us reach a standard that is set out of reach.

Women’s experiences and desires are reduced or eliminated and replaced by the need to consume a new outfit, vacation, or skin care product- whatever is crowned the hottest new thing. It is easy to lose yourself when you are driven by material items, and even easier to lose yourself when those things are used to fit into a label that lacks genuine meaning. I’m not trying to neglect the fact that sometimes people are just mean, and we are led to believe that these items or concepts will make our lives easier, but I am tired of outside forces trying to convince us that our best self is the one that comes at the expense of currency or changing ourselves.

To me, the cool girl appears in many forms. She can be a girl at the thrift with an eclectic style and neon colors in her hair. She is the girl at the gym who goes out of her way to excitedly say “hi”. She is my mom who is always making up new recipes and feels so fulfilled when she can share them with her friends. It is someone who is kind and patient enough to learn what they like and why– someone who feels secure enough to explore their own path and ideas.

I would like to see who the branded cool girls are when consumption is removed.